Balaam_

Balaam_

Give me discs or give me death

Comments 513

Re: What Games Can You Play On The ROG Xbox Ally Handheld?

Balaam_

These appear to be the same games I could play on the best pc I can afford, or else on a big 4K tv screen on console. So if I play elsewhere I can get either a higher fidelity, ultra high framerate experience or the ease and comfort of the console experience. I see no reason to downgrade my experience to play on this handheld.

Re: Here's Everything That Was Revealed At The Xbox Games Showcase 2025

Balaam_

Objectively I’d rate this a solid B or B+. There had to have been something for everyone. However this was a mere C for me. The only things I was interested in that we already knew about were Elder Scrolls 6 and Fable, neither of which were shown.

We saw a bunch of new stuff but it was rather mediocre looking (especially that ‘we have Bioshock Infinite at home’ game, can’t recall the title) , with few exceptions. Keeper and the Ghost Hotel both looked quite good, but that was pretty much it.

And the handheld? Seriously? So you’re telling me my choices are either parked in front of the best pc I can afford for as close to max settings as I can get, or sitting in front of my 77” 4K 144hz OLED playing on console, or…sitting hunched over a 1080p screen, one eye on severely compromised settings and the other on an ever dwindling battery? Who is this for? Whatever the handheld will cost, you can build a more capable pc or else go the console route. Is this for kids on the schoolbus? People who ride the commuter train for 2hrs everyday to work? Oh, also it’s hideous. It elicited the same ‘oh dear god that is one ugly hunk of plastic’ that the PS5 reveal drew out of me, only in handheld form.

Re: Last Chance! What Are Your Final Hopes For The Xbox Games Showcase 2025?

Balaam_

Fable and Elder Scrolls 6 are the only things still in the pipeline that I care about (the only things we know about), and it’s too early for ES6 except some cinematic nonsense trailer, so as far as I’m concerned this is either a Fable showcase or a big nothingburger. That could possibly change if they revealed something we don’t yet know about, but it’s foolish to bet on unknowns.

I would be mildly pleased if some lesser known stuff got ported to PS5; the idea of a Quantum Break or Sunset Overdrive platinum is mighty enticing. It would be nice to have all of Remedy’s and Insomniac’s stuff in one place too, and to me they always felt like those high quality PlayStation cinematic masterpiece type of games.

Re: Opinion: Crash Bandicoot 4 Will Be A Divisive Addition To Xbox Game Pass

Balaam_

The hypocrisy in the entire gaming industry is truly disgusting. All platform holders like to champion their various initiatives for the disabled/differently abled, with all sorts of customizable controller options and layouts and foot pedals and so forth.

They laud their accessibility features in games, then in the same breath give the ok to developers to create Achievement and Trophy criteria that no average person could ever accomplish. I guess handicapped people who would very much like to be achievement/trophy hunters aren’t worth considering? How is someone who truly needs the Xbox accessibility controller or that playstation one supposed to beat Crash 4 levels which require superhuman reflexes where literal tenths of a second mean the difference between success and failure?

Lest everyone forget, trophies and achievements are not equivalent to the medals given out during the Olympics. Only one person/team gets the gold in a given event, whereas achievements and trophies were designed from the very start so that everyone could unlock them. But that can’t happen when scummy devs gatekeep these achievements and trophies behind absurd criteria only the best of the best can unlock.

Re: Xbox 'Achievement Hunter' Sale Now Live, Including Some Great Bargains

Balaam_

Warning to all Achievement hunters: There are games included on this list with broken, glitched, or otherwise impossible achievements. Not sure how both platform holders get away with that anti-consumer practice, but they have been getting away with it since achievements/trophies were first introduced. Platform holders really ought to have their foot on these developers when it comes to broken achievements (or simply bad, achievement-hunter-unfriendly criteria), then press down.

Re: Microsoft Signs 'Historic Tentative Agreement' With QA Devs At Bethesda

Balaam_

False. Bethesda does not employ Q&A testers. A lifetime’s worth of playing Morrowind/Oblivion/Skyrim/Fallouts 3/4/76/New Vegas and encountering an innumerable, unfathomable amount of bugs, crashes and game breaking glitches is all the proof I need. And yeah Bethesda themselves didn’t do F:NV, but it was built on their antiquated, geriatric, decrepit engine that someone needs to take out behind the barn and put out of everyone’s misery.

Re: Xbox Building A Handheld 'Makes No Sense', Says Former Blizzard Boss

Balaam_

In another article I noticed Jez was all too happy to give everyone his two penn’orth regarding Shuhei Yoshida’s putting subscription services on blast. Jez made a long list of quotes from industry executives to…’prove’ Shu wrong. I wonder if Jez will include Mike Ybarra’s comment in any upcoming articles regarding whether canning the handheld was the right decision or not🤔

Re: Xbox Has Reportedly 'Sidelined' Plans For A 2027 First-Party Handheld

Balaam_

I’m fine with this. More than fine, actually.

We finally clawed our way out of the ‘Xbox has no games’ decades/generations of consoles, now I just want to enjoy them—and I can’t do that squinting at some tiny barely HD screen, one eye on settings-decimated gameplay and the other on an ever dwindling battery as my hands devolve into arthritic claws from cramped controls. Prioritize making 4K 120hz on console viable and keep pumping out mid-80’s scored hits or above so I can actually enjoy them on a large OLED from the comfort of my armchair. That 3rd party handheld they showed is good enough for that crowd, that ROG or POS or whatever it’s called.

Re: Former Game Pass Title Atomic Heart Has Been So Successful It's Spawned A New Publisher

Balaam_

I’ll have to look into the trophies/achievements more thoroughly after all the praise this game has gotten. When it came out, I thought to myself ‘this looks interesting, but I have too much else to play that I know for certain I’ll enjoy. I’ll put this on the back burner for now.’ Maybe it should be pulled forward after all. If the trophy/achievement list is competently designed, I’ll look for a physical copy to own.

Re: Talking Point: Are You Interested In This Week's New FromSoftware Release?

Balaam_

Die hard FromSoft fan, since the og King’s Field days. This one’s a hard pass for me. Played the closed beta, not impressed. I buy From games for the gripping single player experience and meticulous, intricately designed, handcrafted worlds to explore. This is none of those things. It’s like they took the parts of their games that are the least enjoyable and mashed them all together.

I don’t mind them trying something new, but I hope to god they don’t pursue this direction any further.

Re: Talking Point: Will You Be Buying The 2025 Xbox Handheld From ASUS?

Balaam_

Since a person can only really play one device at any given time, I can’t think of a single reason I would ever want to use one of these handheld pc’s instead of either a console or actual pc.

My consoles are hooked up to a glorious 77” 4K 144hz OLED in front of a comfy armchair, while if I want power I’d park myself in front of my (probably currently considered mid-range, yet still more capable than the consoles and exponentially more powerful than any handheld) pc.

I’m not a kid who rides a schoolbus. I don’t have a 2-hr. commute on a train. I don’t live in a Brady Bunch scenario where there are 12 people in my house all competing for the television. When I’m on the can, I’m doing my business, and when I’m at a party I’m circulating and socializing—not hunched over a tiny screen off on the sidelines like a troll. There are zero use cases I can see for using a handheld. Maybe if I acquire some debilitating disease and become bedridden for an extended length of time, perhaps. Until then, these handhelds are utterly useless.

Re: 'Retro Classics' Raises Questions About The Future Of Xbox Backwards Compatibility

Balaam_

A streaming service focused on retro games doesn’t qualify to be labeled as part of any “Backwards Compatible” program or initiative. Inherent in the idea of BC is the ability to take something you already own and be given the option to play it on current hardware you own, when you want. If the game in question is entirely out of your ownership and control, you’re at the mercy of whoever does own it. That’s not “Backwards Compatibility”, that’s ’we’re letting you play this, in the manner we choose, for now—retaining the rights to alter or remove it at our discretion and without warning’.

Re: Microsoft Celebrates As Xbox Vs. FTC Officially Comes To An End

Balaam_

Somewhere out there in the multiverse there’s an alternate timeline where they won…and we still have incredible exclusives along with a business focus centered around the console and the prestige of being an investor in said hardware. Who knows what that ~$70 Billion could have been put toward instead? More exclusives, new startup initiatives, more nuanced IP acquisitions… 😞

Re: Review: Xbox Retro Classics - A Great Addition To Game Pass, With Just One Caveat

Balaam_

If they can’t be bought individually this means nothing to me. I don’t expect physical versions or even a compilation disc for these retro games, but the inability to buy particular titles a la carte is a deal breaker. It may be part of a subscription service I’m already paying for, but gate keeping ownership for no real reason other than to force recurring revenue is utterly distasteful and reeks of corporate greed.

Re: Hellblade 2 Announced For PS5 Alongside 'Enhanced' Edition On Xbox

Balaam_

@M20B25 Same here. Hopefully it’ll get one alongside the PlayStation launch. That’s one thing I respect about a lot of Team Blue’s hardcore userbase, they appreciate physical media.

All the same, if whoever was in charge of the ‘physical’ releases (and I use that term loosely…) for Indy and DoomDA is stupid enough to screw over fans by withholding disc data and forcing internet downloads, I wouldn’t hold my breath for a smaller game like HB2.

Re: One Of The Worst Xbox Games Of All Time Has Dropped To $2.99

Balaam_

Indy is GOTY calibre quality, Gollum is 💩. Indy evidently isn’t worth putting any more than a few MB’s of data on the disc and requires an internet download to play, but Gollum has a full physical retail release with the entire game on-disc . That means decades from now it’s conceivable Indy might be unplayable while someone could insert the Gollum disc and start playing. That is so disgustingly backward.

Re: Poll: What Do You Think Of DOOM: The Dark Ages So Far?

Balaam_

Refuse to throw money away leasing digital code. Haven’t played it, will not be playing it until it’s released on-disc (with the entirety of the game on disc minus any internet download required BS). I have countless other high profile, high rated games on my backlog (fully on disc, mind you) to play instead of wasting money to own nothing.

Re: Report: Red Dead Redemption 2 Next-Gen Upgrade Could Launch On Xbox Later This Year

Balaam_

This would be most welcome. Provided, of course, they leave that awful online stuff shoehorned into the OG release on the chopping block. They’ve shown good sense with RDR1’s remaster, so I’m praying that trend continues. Those achievements/trophies were a tedious, brutal, god awful chore to slog through and are the sole reason I skipped the game the first time around. When devs put Achievement/Trophy hunters first, everyone wins.

Re: Talking Point: Xbox Fans, How Are You Getting On With Microsoft Rewards In 2025?

Balaam_

I can understand them wanting to close any major loopholes as far as getting what essentially amounts to ‘free game pass’ goes; they are a business after all. But their stranglehold on the reward point system, absolutely driving it into the ground in numerous ways goes much too far.

Take the cooldown for earning points through searches. Is that a sick joke? Maybe if their search engine wasn’t total trash I wouldn’t want to grind them out asap so I can go back to using other, better search engines.

Stop forcing that copilot filth on everyone’s screen without asking and let us permanently block it if we so choose. Not everyone is stupid enough to be suggestible to the degree of wanting an ai to dictate to them what is most relevant to them. It’s just another reason to use a different engine.

Oh and the jewel phone game used to give 20pts. Now it’s a measly 5. I take great solace in the fact I’ve used the rewards points I’ve earned over the years to more or less legally ‘steal’ content from Microsoft many, many times.

Re: Oblivion Remastered's Performance 'Degrades' Over Time, Digital Foundry Discovers

Balaam_

This is literally just Bethesda’s Creation engine or whatever it’s called with UE5 running overtop producing the fancy visuals. The underlying engine is the same piece of broken garbage we got on 360. Every single horrendous, god awful characteristic and flaw in that old engine still exists. I did read Virtuos went back and fixed a handful of game breaking bugs during questlines, which is admirable, but there’s only so much you can do without addressing the fundamental failures of this geriatric, antiquated engine.

Re: DOOM: The Dark Ages Comparison Shows Difference Between Xbox Series X And Series S

Balaam_

They don’t like it, but this is the correct way to approach development. Yeah the series S version is a blurry unplayable mess, nothing can be done about that. But to optimize the Series X version ahead of the Pro is smart—it shows the ‘home’ userbase they’re being taken into account. The Pro is easily as powerful as an X and S taped together, so there’s no reason it shouldn’t be running better than X and at higher resolutions or better settings. But it’s not. That’s competent prioritization, and I hope it’s a trend that continues.

Re: Lots Of Xbox Games Have Suddenly Been Delisted In Some Countries

Balaam_

Most of these are admittedly lackluster, but Kena is fantastic. Good thing I bought it physically, as no anti-consumer move by any corporation can now remove my ability to play it whenever I like. I’d pity all the low intellect pro-digital people, but they’re getting what they deserve. The intelligent among them will use this as a learning experience and buy physically where possible.

Re: Xbox Developer Shares Insight Into Why Physical Releases Are 'Complex'

Balaam_

So what’s Bethesda/Virtuos’ excuse for screwing over hardcore gamers by only renting the digital version of Oblivion Remastered? Hardcore collectors want to OWN it, not lease digital code that can be taken away/tampered with. The game is selling literally millions. There’s no excuse.l for this anti consumer behavior.

Re: Indie Hit DREDGE Is Available Today With Xbox Game Pass (May 6)

Balaam_

Fantastic indie gem right here. I tried it on PS+ a year or two ago, loved it so much I tracked down a physical disc for permanent ownership. If you haven’t tried it yet or are on the fence, it’s quite fun and has a great Lovecraftian atmosphere. Great trophy/acheivement list as well, no online server dependent garbage or needlessly difficult/overly tedious criteria.

Re: Xbox Support 'Leaks' Oblivion Remastered Release Date, But It's Probably A Mistake

Balaam_

I’m more impressed that someone actually managed to get a reply from customer support. Microsoft has probably what amounts to the absolute, abysmally worst “customer support” on the face of the earth. There are either infinite redirects because they do not intend to offer any actual support, or they try to force that horrendously worthless ai trash down our throats under the guise that it’s useful for solving any type of real problem.

However this person got a reply, they deserve a free autographed copy of Oblivion just for the hassle of having Microsoft’s ‘customer support’ inflicted on them. Hopefully we’ll all finally be playing a jank-free version of Oblivion by this time next week.

Re: Just One Game Is Confirmed For Xbox Game Pass In February 2025 So Far

Balaam_

Completely disinterested. The visual aesthetic they settled on is atrocious. A garish, hideously ugly color palette coupled with outdated character models and stilted animations is a terrible combination. It reminds me of those eye-searing neon colored Lisa Frank art supplies for kids from the 90’s. ‘Graphics don’t make a game’ blah blah, yeah, but taking a mediocre looking rpg and giving it a poop-brown spraycoat doesn’t help.

Re: Elden Ring Nightreign Sign-Ups Begin For Free Xbox Network Test

Balaam_

@GuyinPA75 They never will. Once you learn the mechanics most of the game won’t pose too much of an issue (there are a few well known sticking points in the base game). There are more than enough tools at your disposal to prevail in any encounter, and the more you understand how they want you to play, the easier it becomes.

I’d offer to do casual co-op or even some more serious sherpa’ing, but I only play Elden Ring on the Pro now (currently the smoothest console experience) and since there’s no cross play unless you have a PSN I wouldn’t be able to help.

Re: Poll: Which Xbox Developer Direct 2025 Reveal Are You Most Hyped For?

Balaam_

ID feels the need to force multiplayer trophies/acheivements on those who have less than no interest in mp and are only here for the single player, so I have no interest in that by way of recompense. South of Midnight looks…interesting, but it could easily end up being mediocre. Expedition 33 looks like the turn based RPG greatness all recent FF’s should have been, instead of that low-intellect real time slop so that one has me most excited. I’m curious as to what the secret reveal is, but that could go either way. Might be cool, might be some rinky dink throwaway nothing of a game.